Is Monogamy Dead? by Rosie Wilby @rosiewilby #Review


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by Rosie Wilby


‘My favourite way to learn is when a funny, clever, honest person is teaching me – that’s why I love Rosie Wilby!’ – Sara Pascoe

‘Bittersweet, original, honest and so funny.’ – Viv Groskop

In early 2013, comedian Rosie Wilby found herself at a crossroads with everything she’d ever believed about romantic relationships. When people asked, ‘who’s the love of your life?’ there was no simple answer. Did they mean her former flatmate who she’d experienced the most ecstatic, heady, yet ultimately doomed, fling with? Or did they mean the deep, lasting companionate partnerships that gave her a sense of belonging and family? Surely, most human beings need both.

Mixing humour, heartache and science, Is Monogamy Dead? details Rosie’s very personal quest to find out why Western society is clinging to a concept that doesn’t work that well for some of us and is laden with ambiguous assumptions.


There is such a raw honesty about everything in this book, it is refreshing, I learnt a lot and found myself agreeing with so much of the stuff that if not normally talked about. The thing is I am straight and have always prided myself on treating everyone equal but we are all different and ok it may be the tip of the iceberg but my thought processes have changed. It’s ok to say someone is different, just respect and accept someone for who they are, we really don’t have to be pigeon holed.

Rosie Wilby has sort of bared all in this book about herself and her relationships with partners at different levels when at times she needed different things. Yes I like the cosy feel of an old pair of slippers but at times I want that pair of high heel that pinches the toes but makes me feel a million dollars just for a little while . A bit like relationships.

Although Rosie talks frankly about her own relationships she has also conducted her own research into a wide group of gay and straight friends, both male and female and how they see and judge each other. Do most people want just each other or the choice to see other people too. It really is very fascinating  and raises some interesting points. I really love that it is so open and frank. What is an acceptable level of contact between two people before it is considered betrayal? The more choices that there were just made my head spin. What is acceptable to one person is thought of as cheating by another, What did come out of it for me is we simply don’t talk about it enough with partners.

This book does have its lighthearted moments at looking at how people see long and  short-term relationships in our modern world, with everything just at a touch of a button away.  But it does have its serious side too. Is it love if you are happy for both of you to sleep with other people and just sharing the bills and a bed when you aren’t going out. I don’t know. Another lesson learnt, everyone has a right to decide themselves as long as they are honest with their partner and they both agree. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another so talk to each other.

Do check the links below if you would like to go and see Rosie Wilby talk about the questions raised in this book.


Rosie Wilby is an award-winning comedian who has appeared on the likes of BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour and Loose Ends. Since being a finalist at Funny Women 2006, she’s been steadily building an army of fans. She has performed at Glastonbury, Secret Garden Party and Latitude, as well as being published in The Sunday Times, the Guardian, the Independent and more. She’s currently the co-host of Radio Diva on Resonance FM alongside Heather Peace. Her first book, Is Monogamy Dead? will be published in August 2017 and follows her TEDx talk of the same name.


Twitter @rosiewilby


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