A POEM BY ME

Well this is different, for those of you that know of Drew he is The Tattooed Book Geek and he is celebrating 6 month blog anniversary with a competition. The competition requires a poem and as Drew often makes me cry I am returning the favour, well perhaps. It is written from the heart as, I am a drug  and alcohol addicts mum and although he has been through rehab he finds coping with life so very difficult. So here goes

 

MUM OF AN ADDICT

How I hate my phone ringing in the middle of the night,

because I know before I answer that it’s you if it’s not light.

I see your name and picture appearing on my screen,

but I know where you are will be a different scene.

A room of desolation with bottles all around,

all empty and discarded not a pill left to be found.

An overdose again and regret you have lost your way,

My beautiful son, please just listen to what I have to say.

Please don’t do this please tell me where you are,

You know I am always here for you, you have come so far.

Drink and drug addiction is behind you now at last,

but I know life isn’t easy when you think about your past.

We talk and cry and you say you don’t want to die alone,

and I phone an ambulance and I meet them at your home.

But the phone call in the night is not the thing I fear,

It’s a knock and a policeman saying please take a seat my dear.

 

CONGRATULATIONS DREW ON YOUR 6 MONTH ANNIVERSARY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “A POEM BY ME

  1. I hope you don’t mind but Drew sent me a link to your poem. This is really good. Thank you so much for sharing. My eyes are watering from it. My brother was an addict for 15 years, and I lived with him through over 10 of those years. I can relate to this so much. He used to call me in the middle of the night for money and a ride home. There was even a time I picked him up and he didn’t know who I was because he was so high. The fights with my parents and the visits from the police I know all too well. I bailed him out of jail in the middle of the night too many times, had way too many policeman show up at my door to take him out in handcuffs. To this day, I still jump when I hear the doorbell ring. I have so many stories about his addiction that I always wanted to write them down either in a poem or book because I didn’t know what to do with all of those feelings. Thanks for sharing this. I know how hard it is to tell someone.

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    1. Hi I’m so glad you got in touch. I am so sorry about your brother. It is the hardest thing in the world to see someone you love destroy their life. To look into their eyes and know they arnt telling you the truth. To hold them while they cry like a child and cool them down because they are burning up and to fear them when there is nothing in their eyes because you have lost them to a bad trip or needing that next fix.
      It destroys you because you know they are in there somewhere. 5 times in 20 month my son has over dosed. Each one worse each time, so much blood and a bit more of you dies too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m really sorry to hear about your son. I watched my parents go through it with my brother and I think it killed me more than what he was doing to himself. I stayed home for years instead of moving out because I knew my parents needed me there. I can’t imagine how much harder that must be as a mother. I’ve been through it all with my brother. The overdoses, rehabs, court cases, police stations, late night visits, the odd hours on the phone… I don’t think I slept a wink for all those years. He had me up every night. One night I remember holding his mouth open for him because he took so much that I thought he was going to break his jaw before he came down from his high. I know what you mean. I used to tell him that I knew the person he used to be was in there somewhere. For his last trip to rehab back in April, I sent him pictures and letters so he could remember. He didn’t remember all of it because he was always high, but the doctor said it really helped. He’s been clean since then and he looks good. I saw him two days ago. I hope he stays that way. And I hope your son gets better. I don’t think most people realize addiction is forever. It will always be a struggle. This is the first time I’ve ever really talked openly about my brother. Thank you for sharing.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You are so very brave. My daughters were broken with Adam too. One brother helped one doesn’t speak to him even now. Adam lost his long term girlfriend his home his job and finally after the last overdose his son. He has been through rehab but drugs have done so much damage to his brain that he can’t cope if things start going wrong, and I say we can fix this but he goes on self destruct.
    He can’t even come home now because there is literally a hit out on him. It makes it so I can’t be on hand to make sure he is ok. It is very hard.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Some days I honestly don’t know how I did it. I always tried to make sure I got good grades and did whatever I could to please my parents so they would at least have my college graduation and job offers to look forward to. My dad said that really helped a lot back then knowing that I was taken care of. We had a lot of bad days for years. I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. I think you’re brave for sharing this with everyone. I know how hard it is to talk about addiction and what it does to you and the people you love. And people always add their two cents about sending them to rehab or whatever they think will fix them, but I don’t think they get it until they’ve lived it for themselves. Even books don’t do addiction justice. And it’s one of the topics I’d like to read more of in fiction without all the sugar coated stuff they publish, more raw and real like that movie The Basketball Diaries. That movie always reminded me of my brother.

      Liked by 1 person

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